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Life Is Complicated

I am not someone who needs more of everything.  I am constantly weeding through what I have to sustain me, and giving away whatever I can. I choose to live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Plus, I work better when things are in good order.  Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t know. Truly ‘rich’ people need less to be happy.

Last month I asked a friend to help me empty my garage. I hadn’t cleaned out that space for ten years. We took everything out even the spare fence boards on the rafters, every tool, down to the last nail. It was cleansing to throw out old tiki lamps, rusted tools, an outdated inversion table, and then sorting through the rest, giving away what I didn’t need. It was heavenly putting back in what I wanted to keep. I am filled with peace when I slide open the garage door and see everything in its place.

Another way I have moved toward simplifying my life is to stop spending time with people who can’t make up their mind about me.  I want to spend what time I have with kind people who are smart and creative, people who I can relate to and relate to me. I surround myself with people who reflect the person I want to be.  I am proud of my friends they are good people. I admire and respect them.  My friends make me feel like a millionaire.

Like most of you, I am determined to create a better tomorrow and a better self.  I know I want to heal the broken places inside of me, expand my mind, make the most of this physical body and run a good race all the way to the finish line.  I want to be honest with myself and everyone else.  I believe in being kind and faithful and doing the right thing.  To me that is integrity and integrity is the foundation of everything that truly succeeds.  I embody joy when I do what my heart is leading me to do. 

That said, life is complicated. Even during those times when I embrace the mystery and challenge of finding that simpler way, when I stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things life remains complex. Even overwhelming. I need to stay flexible and be prepared for curve balls and twists in the road and not be so surprised when they come.

I know life would be easier if I didn’t doubt myself.  When will I get it through my thick head that no one knows how I should act or what I should be doing? I understand that I am in a work in progress and even when I get it all together there will be a new level to aspire to. How wonderful are those moments when I realize I am good enough. Hopefully I am getting better and wiser all the time but the trick for me is to learn to love and accept myself no matter what. 

And that may be the simplest and most complicated lesson of all: I need to love myself.

I need to love myself.

Just saying that does wonders for my sanity and stress levels.  I know there’s a lot I don’t know but nobody has it all figured out.  The moment I allow myself to be me, acceptance sweeps into my soul and I feel a little less shaky and a little more able to live this complicated life in the simplest way I can.